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I did a google search for "One line comics", no books came up...

"Shit Happens" tattoo, instead of being obvious and putting it on your ass, put it on your head, makes perfect sense!

Two guys talking over the blueprints for a new house. One notices a door which leads to nowhere, he says "There's a flaw in this plan." The other replies, "I know and the stairs lead to a second."

Why is it so hard for Americans to get drunk? Because they have 49 other states to get through.

I started talking back to my music teacher, he said "You best watch your tone."

I can honestly say that that sitting on a greenhouse and falling through it is a real pane in the ass

What do Everton F.C and blondes have in common?
They both blow every chance they get.

Sometimes I wish I was a psychiatrist. So that when someone comes to me and tells me they have really low self esteem I could tell them the following; Close your eyes and now imagine you're a working steam train. Problem sorted.

When I lived in Greece I really got into the culture. I spent a whole afternoon with my hand stuck in an ancient vase.