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For a short period of time I was a door to door comedian, I tried doing knock knock jokes but I never encountered for the windows in the doors nowadays.

why do journalists hate anti-wrinkle cream? because their job consists of making headlines.

In bed, what do nerds and Iphones have in common? They're both one touch away from being turned on and they both support quicktime.

My friend asked me, do you use spotify? I said what's that? he explained and I said, "Can you spell it for me?". He went on to..."s-p-o-t-i-f-Y" I replied "Just wondering."

what's the hardest word to spell during foreplay for a woman? Penis, it's always at the tip of their tongue but doesn't quite come out.

apparently the only 'B' word a girl should be called is "Beautiful, unless it's followed by "Get me a sandwich."