.

I like my drinks still... chasing them is too exhausting.

I spent a whole day playing the first lord of the rings game. I thought to myself, I should probably start revising, but I played the rest of the level. I'm glad that I did because Gandalf came on and said to me "You shalt not pass". So I thought what's the point? He was so right.

My girlfriend started driving me mad, so I drove her off a cliff.

I was a lollipop man for a week. I got fired because I ate them all.

My friend's relationships don't last very long. I guess you could say the girls he goes out with and the milk he drinks have one very big thing in common, they both go off after a week or two.

Why do prostitutes play a lot of pool? It's the only time that it's legal for them to put balls in their pockets.

I don't trust prostitutes, most of what comes out of their mouths is bollocks!

Treat a gamer like you would treat a tomato. Give them food and drink and don't leave them in direct sunlight.