.

A girl is like an xbox, you play with them for an hour, get bored and don't turn them on again for a while.

The wife had a go at me for not doing any DIY... so she stopped sleeping with me so that I didn't have a choice.

Woman have two sides... so even if you buy a double bed, you're bound to end up on the sofa.

What do you call a man who has sexual fetish for a cow? Beef Jerky.

What do girls and TV's have in common? They both have three input slots, two for audio and one used for video.

You can't beat a blowjob, so don't beat your woman!

Don't ever pick up a homeless hitchhiker, they'll never go home.

Homeless hitchhikers are the best type, because if you don't want them in your car anymore, you can just dump them anywhere and not feel sorry for them.