Monday, 17 June 2013

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why did the Eskimo put his wife in the top compartment of the fridge?
- To freezer

What do dim lights and blondes have in common?

- They both tend to be hot but not too bright.

When it comes to funerals I'm not a mourning person, I like to sleep in.


Went to the pub with some friends, I ordered a pint of Stella Artois and one of them said to me, "it's only 4.8 %, you won't feel that." I said, "Yeah, but my wife will".


God created wasps by accident, he accidentally gave flies some red bull after that they were buzzing...


I used to be a professional poker dealer but I got the sack because I kept burning the cards.



I found out dogs become lazy once you name them. I named my dog 'sit' and now he never moves!

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